Business Management IA Exemplar: M-Pesa Revenue Growth at Safaricom | RevisionDojo
Loading document preview...
IB Business Management HL Internal Assessment Example
How has introducing Mobile Money Services (M-Pesa) contributed to Safaricom's overall revenue growth?HL
Loading scores...
6
Official IB Result
17/25
General feedback
17/25
0
13
25
No overall summary is available for this report.
8.1·Suggestion
Page 3• Click to view
Introducing the company background offers context, but the paragraph can be tightened by focusing more on M-Pesa’s strategic role rather than general corporate history.
8.2·Suggestion
Page 6• Click to view
Presentation of currency units is correct, aiding comparability. Consider adding a brief footnote explaining any currency conversion or inflation adjustments.
Criteria A: Integration of a Key Concept
4/5
0
3
5
Criteria Strands
A.1Understanding and integration of key concept
Excellent
A.2Connection to organization
Excellent
Criteria Feedback
Clearly identifies ‘Change’ as the key concept and ties it to M-Pesa’s launch
Strong analytical links to strategic transformation in introduction, methodology, discussion and conclusion
Consistent focus on Safaricom with specific financial data embedded
Integration of the concept is not present in every ratio discussion
Some ratio calculations are presented without explicit linkage to the transformation process
Occasional causal claims (e.g., GPM rise ‘because of’ M-Pesa) lack full disaggregation of other drivers
1.1·Suggestion
Page 1• Click to view
The introduction of the key concept ‘Change’ is stated clearly, but the student should weave explicit references to this concept throughout the financial analysis to fully integrate it into each ratio discussion.
1.2·Suggestion
Page 3• Click to view
The explanation of mobile money as an innovation is clear. To strengthen analysis, connect this description directly to how it triggered change at Safaricom.
1.3·Strength
Page 10• Click to view
The paragraph on strategic change concisely ties back to the concept. To elevate integration, reiterate this linkage in the conclusion.
Criteria B: Supporting Documents
1/4
0
2
4
Criteria Strands
B.1Number of documents
Poor
B.2Relevance and depth
Good
Criteria Feedback
Appends two primary documents (2007 and 2024 annual-report extracts)
Attached statements are directly relevant and allow for ratio computation
Only two supporting documents provided (needs at least three)
Narrow range of ideas with no external triangulation (e.g., industry reports, interviews)
2.1·Weakness
Page 12• Click to view
The works cited demonstrate a range of credible sources. However, only two supporting documents are appended—expand to at least three to meet the rubric’s quantity requirement.
2.2·Suggestion
Page 12• Click to view
The Supporting Documents header is present, but the range is narrow. Integrate additional relevant documents—such as industry reports or customer surveys—to enrich depth.
2.3·Suggestion
Page 12• Click to view
The future research section proposes meaningful extensions. To enhance supporting documents, include interviews or market reports to triangulate financial findings.
Criteria C: Selection and Application of Tools and Theories
2/4
0
2
4
Criteria Strands
C.1Selection of tools and theories
Good
C.2Application and relevance
Good
Criteria Feedback
Selects core financial tools (balance sheet, P&L, three ratios)
Correctly calculates GPM, PM and RGR and links them to the research question
Structured methodology with a dedicated “Ratio Analysis” heading
No justification for choosing specific ratios over other frameworks
Absence of strategic tools (SWOT, Porter, Ansoff)
Missing ratio formulas and incomplete table labeling hinder transparency
3.1·Weakness
Page 4• Click to view
The methodology section lists appropriate financial tools but lacks justification for selecting each ratio. Explain why GPM, PM and RGR specifically address the research question.
3.2·Suggestion
Page 4• Click to view
The description of tools and accounts from the IB textbook is coherent. To improve, cite specific page numbers or examples from the textbook to validate alignment.
3.3·Suggestion
Page 7• Click to view
The heading “Ratio Analysis” indicates a structured approach. However, formulas for each ratio (e.g., GPM=Sales RevenueGross Profit) should be included for transparency.
Criteria D: Analysis and Evaluation
3/5
0
3
5
Criteria Strands
D.1Data selection and use
Good
D.2Analysis quality
Good
Criteria Feedback
Uses a four-year time series for ratio computation
Interprets margin, equity and asset movements with reference to M-Pesa
Includes a thoughtful limitations paragraph showing critical reflection
Data scope is narrow (only internal financial figures)
Discussion of alternative growth drivers is superficial
Minor transcription inconsistencies in tables
4.1·Strength
Page 5• Click to view
The rationale for using a 16-year gap is sound, demonstrating understanding of trend reliability. Consider briefly acknowledging any major economic events that could distort early-year comparisons.
4.2·Suggestion
Page 7• Click to view
The discussion of profitability ratios is conceptually clear. To deepen evaluation, link how changing margins reflect the shift from telecom to fintech.
4.3·Weakness
Page 8• Click to view
The GPM table effectively shows rising margins. For a more robust causal analysis, discuss alternative drivers alongside M-Pesa’s impact.
4.4·Suggestion
Page 9• Click to view
The RGR comparison highlights early rapid growth. The explanation of the decline to 9.92% is superficial; consider discussing market maturation and competition.
4.5·Suggestion
Page 10• Click to view
The discussion on asset growth and liquidity effectively links M-Pesa to balance sheet changes. Consider adding a brief comparative note on other Safaricom segments for context.
4.6·Strength
Page 11• Click to view
The limitations paragraph shows critical reflection. For a stronger evaluation, suggest inclusion of non-financial metrics (e.g., customer adoption rates) in future analyses.
Criteria E: Conclusions
3/3
0
2
3
Criteria Strands
E.1Consistency with evidence
Excellent
E.2Answer to research question
Excellent
Criteria Feedback
Explicitly answers the research question with clear statements
Conclusions are fully consistent with the presented evidence
Acknowledge limitations and restate key numerical findings
Could more directly restate how each piece of evidence supports the final answer
Limited elaboration on broader implications or recommendations
5.1·Suggestion
Page 11• Click to view
The conclusion outlines key transformations and acknowledges limitations, demonstrating consistency. To improve, directly restate how the evidence answers the research question.
Criteria F: Structure
2/2
0
1
2
Criteria Strands
F.1Organization and structure
Excellent
Criteria Feedback
Follows IB IA structure with clear headings and a contents table
Logical flow through introduction, methodology, analysis and conclusion
Research question is concise and well placed
Discussion section transitions can be abrupt
Verbose narrative preceding tables could be streamlined
6.1·Strength
Page 1• Click to view
The research question is concise and focused, directly aligning with IB requirements and setting a clear investigative scope for the assessment.
6.2·Strength
Page 2• Click to view
The contents table is well organized, enhancing navigation. Consider adding page ranges for figures and tables to further guide the reader.
6.3·Suggestion
Page 5• Click to view
The narrative ahead of the tables is verbose. To enhance clarity, separate explanation of the analytical approach from the presentation of results in distinct subsections.
6.4·Weakness
Page 9• Click to view
The discussion section begins but is cut short. Ensure each analytical observation transitions into interpretive commentary linking back to the research question.
Criteria G: Presentation
2/2
0
1
2
Criteria Strands
G.1Required elements
Excellent
Criteria Feedback
All required elements present (title, RQ, word count, contents, page numbers, citations, bibliography, appendices)
Tables and figures are clearly labeled and located
Blank cells and placeholder tables impede readability
Formatting inconsistencies in some appendix tables
7.1·Weakness
Page 6• Click to view
The balance sheet table is comprehensive but blank cells under some headings reduce readability. Ensure all columns are labeled or removed if not used.
7.2·Weakness
Page 8• Click to view
The blank Profit Margin table disrupts flow and prevents analysis. Populate this table with 2006–2024 PM values or remove the placeholder.